THE DIMINISHMENT OF COREGULATION

ARE YOU CREATING EMOTIONAL STRESS UNINTENTIONALLY - BY HABIT?

It's time to bring to the surface the dysfunctional social effects caused by the diminishment of co-regulation. Co-regulation is defined as "continuous unfolding of individual action that is susceptible to being continuously modified by the continuously changing actions of the partner". Or as I prefer to put it - “sharing time in person with another human being.”
 
Whether it be leaning on the back tray of the ute (Australian term for work vehicle) with a mate; chatting over a cuppa (Australian term for sharing a coffee) with a friend, watching live sport with others, or therapeutic time with your life coach, IT IS IMPORTANT.
 
WHY? 
Social interaction, in person, creates an environment where limbic resonance, empathy, compassion, comparison, and collectivism can be exchanged between individuals instantly, and in the most important of ways.
 
NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION 
Emotional energy is a natural function produced by humans. Our bodies enable us to register other’s emotional energy, and respond instantly - and without thought. 
 
In other words, words are not necessary to ‘feel’ the emotions of another human being. Neither written nor spoken words can replace body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, eye contact (and break-away), which are just a few of the external signs of human interaction; there are also energetic interactions taking place within each person, which are non-visual.
 
WHAT WENT WRONG? 
Social media has been misinterpreted as a substitute for co-regulation.
 
It’s time to wake-up folks; social media was crafted for commercial reasons - consumerism; and society has been sucked into the stream, creating an ever-diminishing pool of personal emotional stability which was previously maintained through co-regulation.
 
The societal shift from in-person interaction to print, then to media, and then media-platforms (instagram, facebook, twitter, etc.) has caused significant damage to the emotional stability of the individual over time. Again, simply put, people are not receiving & offering interactive personal support in their lives; they are interacting SOLO via social media.
 
Yes, social media can offer the opportunity for marginalized individuals to find a connection to a tribal membership, however the offset damage created by its existence is huge. It opens the floodgate for minority bigoted, racist, extremists alike.
 
IS THERE A HAPPY MEDIUM? 
I believe there is. 
One of the practices I share is P.Y.W - W.Y.P. (Plan Your Work - Work Your Plan).
 
If you choose to interact via social media, be intentional about the amount of time you choose to do so each day. Also be intentional about what you are seeking?
 
How many times a day do you flick to instagram or facebook?
Count them in a single day & you will be surprised at the number (10,20,30,40, more)?
 
Have you ever gone onto social media for a ‘quick peek’ only to look up at the clock and notice 30 minutes has passed? How do you feel afterwards? 
 
Checking on social media platforms are habits, which can be replaced with proactive practices that will create emotional stability - “you will actually feel good at the completion of the practice” I have many emotionally feel-good practices I can share with you.
 
Connection is a natural human emotion; it is how we survive. However the habitual behavior to substitute actual in-person connection with virtual connection is crippling us as a society. 
 
PUT AWAY YOUR DEVICE & SPEND TIME WITH OTHER HUMAN BEINGS, IN-PERSON EACH DAY - INTENTIONALLY.

I have an office at home, however I also intentionally choose to have a mobile office, taking my laptop to various Starbucks locations throughout Virginia and Washington DC. (Embracing the intention of the CEO & Chairman Howard Schultz when he created the ‘third space’ stating, “Coffee is what we sell as a product, but it’s not what our brand stands for. Starbucks is about human connection and a sense of community inside our stores,”).
 
I truly understand the importance of having co-regulation in my life, so I choose to commute by public transport to various ‘third space’ offices at least 3 times a week. I smile at people, I share a nod, I get to share the emotions of discomfort (rainy cold days) and comfort (warm snug Starbucks locations) alike. I say thanks to the barrister, and truly mean it!
Sometimes a conversation with a ‘stranger’ takes place on my commute, sometimes not - but we share the space, and the energy of humanness.
 
How comfortable do you feel turning to the person next to you on the bus / train / plane / or perhaps supermarket line and smiling, let alone striking up a conversation?
 
So here’s the thing, do it tomorrow - just once, and see the difference it makes to you and to them emotionally. Just the smile (no words necessary) will trigger your brain to release the feel-good neurotransmitters—dopamine, endorphins and serotonin.
 
P-Y-W, W-Y-P to act intentionally with media time (set specific times: example 10am, & 2pm for 15 minutes), and couple this with intentional smiles at ‘strangers’ and you will be amazed at where this takes you...physically & emotionally.
 
DO YOU WANT SOME FREE PRACTICES TO REPLACE HABITUAL BEHAVIOUR? 
Then simply click here and ask me; I am here to share, because YOU MATTER TOO.
 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Having undertaken studies for 4 years, and successfully fulfilled the criteria required, Paul is a certified Life Coach, certified Reflexologist, & certified Naturopathic Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki Therapist, specializing in mindfulness-based practices; He is also a published author of a self-help series of books, and Podcast host of Mindfulness Mondays, currently on (I-tunes & Spotify).
 
Paul offers 1-to-1 in-person services in Virginia USA, as well as Sydney Australia; and Life Coaching services are offered globally through various web platforms.
Individually tailored tools and techniques are shared, to enable clients to develop a state of positive emotional awareness and behavior.
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For Links & more information on Paul Pettit & BMS Click HERE
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